Last write-up

At some point, u have to stop what u are looking for,

What u are hunting for

What u are seeking for

The urge of knowing the answer~

The desperate emotions to know the result~

The pray asking for changing~

But what i did realised, ALLAH swt wrote the most beautifull storyline of mylife n every muslims

Miracle

Surprise

Test 

I keep my journey EAT.PRAY.LOVE

Coz "life must go on"

This end up of my last storyline write up for this 

Butterfleet.blogspot

End

Sep 16,2015  8am

Here we are again

Kun fa ya kun

Berserah & redha

Masih dicabar kesabaran aku

Namun,aku guna kawarasan utk tabah

Aku menangis,ramai juga yg aku tangiskan

Oh life~ 

Fuck it!

This anxiety

This curiousity

This humality 

;( poor me. Fuck! Poor me

Pinjaman

Selalu dengar, Allah hadirkan seseorang dlm hidup seseorang kerana bersebab..

Dunia ini pinjaman

Mcm loan, kita pinjam tapi kena pulangkan

Begitu juga tuhan pinjamkan kita seseorang untuk dikenali..

Tapi Dia maha esa, boleh bila2 masa menghilangkan seseorang

Aku xsalahkan dgn apa berlaku. Redha.

Aku kuat,inshaallah....

Ni second time aku dibuang/ diabaikan...

Aku manusia,wanita dan ibu..

Jika ada aturanMu yang bisa mengubah kesedihanku, aku memohon doronganMu ya Allah...

Yes. Aku bersedia.

Amin

Permudahkanlah

Ya allah

Aku hambamu yang hina. 

Aku hambamu yang lemah

Tunjuklah aku jalan hidupku dgn nur hidayahmu

Aku sungkur,akur

Berikan aku ruang ketenangan, 

Hilangkan kesedihan

Ya allah, yang maha pengasuh dan maha penyayang

;|

Heart shape

Y i must deal with this?

Ya allah

Apa aturanmu? Aku xmahu layan situasi drama yang hanya melibatkan budak cina 19 tahun,masih mentah, sosial,masih belum tahu fokus dunia, wahai sharon.

U can have him if he love u too 

Jangan bermain dgn hati, sesungguh perlu pengorbanan

And my dear mr.Y

you may have your fun love. Leave the reality n this boring life ;( 

Ya allah ya tuhanku,

dgn mu aku selalu berbisik

Tuliskan aku jalan yang terbaik

Jika perjalanan ke Jannahmu, perbaiki diri kami yang daif dan sesat ini

Jika jalanmu perpisahan, ko kuatkanlah aku demi anak anakku Ian Harith dan Nia Amany.

Amin,ya rabbalalamin 

17aug2015...

September coming

A year come, a year go
Here is my story dated 16Aug 2015 1:12am

Saddess,confussed,angered,frustrated as i found more more evidence of my unfaithful marriage story.
Day by day,hour by hour, minutes by minutes i am waiting for Allah help.

Until today~ none

Maybe its not the time yet.

My question: then when???

Wheres the miracle?

As far as now i am dealing with tears,stressed and dillema- like dumb

Not many days to go 6th Sept
I want this story end.

If HE want to back to this family, please do so.
Fuck all the shit scandalisme with anyone. Back to us

If u goes 50/50, oh my dear... Please separated with us :(

If he decide nothing change, then SAYONARA to us

Custody of our kids,with me.

Dun bring the risk n harmful this family- wishing~

Dear Mr.Y please decide.

Amin

Lima.ogos.2015

I am not trying to run

But how to hide from something "haunted"?

When i am trying to reach him, then i failed as my mind haunted by something that couldnt be erased?

I talked with someone, asking bout to cure / mend the broken hearted

Answers: still same. Only me,myself could change it

I asked second men, answer, only u the one who can change the story

There only ways i figure it out:

-drugs / medication

- new hobby

-new type of friend

-count on theraphy

- create 2nd me (dillusional)

But, i will make a choice (the above) once i give up "one day"

Now, with my rationale,i keep n giving my soul to dear mighty Allah swt

Dear Ian & Nia, u are my strenght

Bless us. Show us the right way

Ya Allah~