today
clearly.
understood.
DELETED.
............ more will deleting..........
Its time
Its time.
Ya allah, beri aku kekuatan agar tindakanku ini bukan dibawah pengaruh syaitan.
Wahai kekasihku, redhakan apa yang akan berlaku.
Halalkan semua ;,(
Detik hitam 12 feb 2015
Wow
Aku dah agak kesedihan aku sejak beberapa bulan bukan kerana mood swing seorang wanita hamil. Rasa xtenang. Rasa ingin bertanya, tapi seperti aku tau jawapan.
12 feb 2015 pukul 10:30pm
Dgn kuasa allah taala, dan mungkin petunjuk dari yang maha esa, jawapan utk keresahan aku terjawab. ;(
Tapi aku tenang. Tapi ape perlu aku buat?
Dgn kekuatan 20bulan kandungan,walaupun si kecil dah menendang2,tapi aku gagahkan hati nk berjumpa dgn si tuan badan iaitu SUAMIKU yang berada di kedai mkn.
Aku cuba tenang. Aku xmau dlm stres atau dlm kurang waras.
Aku tanye dia dgn tenang, tapi jawapannya n riak wajahnya, ternyata......
Aku x suke muke tu :( X mengapa, aku perlu pikir future planning.
Tq ya allah.. Sebab beri aku kekuatan.
Dan melangkah dari dia, melangkahlah aku, takkan pusing.
Aku x salah pada dia. Dia muda,bekerjaya, bercita tinggi. Yang aku kesal, betul katanya, aku bukan pilihan dia yang tepat, bukan isteri yang baik.
Bagi aku pulak,persoalan malu. Kerana:
**Manusia yang aku pilih... Yg ketika itu dia beriya mahukan aku sebagai penganti tunangnya"exnya" dan amat sayangkan aku
** manusia yang aku pilih, aku bayangkan akan berani utk membawa aku dan masa depanku, walau dlm apa keadaan
** manusia yg aku jadikan pasangan halal dan sah ini, kenapa xdapat kekal hingga akhir hayat. Kenapa dia mesti give-up dan mencari baru??
Mmmmm... Ya allah :( besar ujianmu ya allah.
Yang pasti, aku harus kekal berdiri. Walaupun tidur dan makanku agak terjejas, mungkin baby di dalam kandunganku juga sedih, dan cuba erat bersamaku
:( sedih lagi bila aku sudah terpikir, bagaimana aku di labor room utk kali kedua. :(
Tiada lagi kongsian nama bayi kedua kami...
Tiada lagi ~ ya allah ya tuhan.
Aku memohon darimu ya allah. Tenang dan kuatkan aku untuk menghadapi dugaanmu ini. Aku memohon,jalan terbaik dari mu. Successkan mereka berdua di syarikat mazelensastudio itu.
Amin amin ya rabbal al amin :(
Aku dah agak kesedihan aku sejak beberapa bulan bukan kerana mood swing seorang wanita hamil. Rasa xtenang. Rasa ingin bertanya, tapi seperti aku tau jawapan.
12 feb 2015 pukul 10:30pm
Dgn kuasa allah taala, dan mungkin petunjuk dari yang maha esa, jawapan utk keresahan aku terjawab. ;(
Tapi aku tenang. Tapi ape perlu aku buat?
Dgn kekuatan 20bulan kandungan,walaupun si kecil dah menendang2,tapi aku gagahkan hati nk berjumpa dgn si tuan badan iaitu SUAMIKU yang berada di kedai mkn.
Aku cuba tenang. Aku xmau dlm stres atau dlm kurang waras.
Aku tanye dia dgn tenang, tapi jawapannya n riak wajahnya, ternyata......
Aku x suke muke tu :( X mengapa, aku perlu pikir future planning.
Tq ya allah.. Sebab beri aku kekuatan.
Dan melangkah dari dia, melangkahlah aku, takkan pusing.
Aku x salah pada dia. Dia muda,bekerjaya, bercita tinggi. Yang aku kesal, betul katanya, aku bukan pilihan dia yang tepat, bukan isteri yang baik.
Bagi aku pulak,persoalan malu. Kerana:
**Manusia yang aku pilih... Yg ketika itu dia beriya mahukan aku sebagai penganti tunangnya"exnya" dan amat sayangkan aku
** manusia yang aku pilih, aku bayangkan akan berani utk membawa aku dan masa depanku, walau dlm apa keadaan
** manusia yg aku jadikan pasangan halal dan sah ini, kenapa xdapat kekal hingga akhir hayat. Kenapa dia mesti give-up dan mencari baru??
Mmmmm... Ya allah :( besar ujianmu ya allah.
Yang pasti, aku harus kekal berdiri. Walaupun tidur dan makanku agak terjejas, mungkin baby di dalam kandunganku juga sedih, dan cuba erat bersamaku
:( sedih lagi bila aku sudah terpikir, bagaimana aku di labor room utk kali kedua. :(
Tiada lagi kongsian nama bayi kedua kami...
Tiada lagi ~ ya allah ya tuhan.
Aku memohon darimu ya allah. Tenang dan kuatkan aku untuk menghadapi dugaanmu ini. Aku memohon,jalan terbaik dari mu. Successkan mereka berdua di syarikat mazelensastudio itu.
Amin amin ya rabbal al amin :(
last checking
my last checking was on 20th January and it cant tell whats gender of my baby.
now the baby was 18 weeks.
it was so surprise for me.
thinking of going other Clinic to have better scanner.
heheheh
smile ~
adele
"I Can't Make You Love Me"(originally by Bonnie Raitt)
*****
*****
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me closely
Don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin' that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't
Yeah-hh
I'll close my eyes
'Cause then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're home with me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin' that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me closely
Don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin' that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't
Yeah-hh
I'll close my eyes
'Cause then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're home with me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin' that it won't
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't
PINK - lyric
"Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again"
Just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again"
just give a reason>> Pink
twenty fifteen
welcome welcome.
today 6th of January. OMG!!! kejap je. My first day datang keje.
still old desk, old chair, old place.
xde baru. Yang baru of courselah BUKU LOG KERJA aku...
hehehehh
tiap tahun kene beli baru.
Ok....ape nak bebel. Ok, my pengapit dulu whom was my bloody cousin Shuhada (KL side) and suppost-to-get-married-but-break-up one more Miss Nadiah (Penang side).
Last 3rd Jan, Shuhada had her "akad nikah" and day after 4th Jan, her wedding at Dewan Pedana Keramat.
Lovely and full of tremendous gossips and drama.
ape-apepun, ucapan tahniah dan semoga berkekalan. Amin.
*****
my pillowmate, my ARMY was happen to face his first FINAL EXAM.waaarrgghhhhh...
I think a lot than him. Cuak oooooo
but he seems relax siap lepak2 malam.
doakan dia SUCCESS in career and study. Both important.
And in my pray and Doa, may Allah swt bring him more wisely and tolerable father, student, husband and BOSS in this year and life.
My pregnancy, healthy. Our last check up, he/she sems so active.
-smile-
alhamdullillah
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