September coming

A year come, a year go
Here is my story dated 16Aug 2015 1:12am

Saddess,confussed,angered,frustrated as i found more more evidence of my unfaithful marriage story.
Day by day,hour by hour, minutes by minutes i am waiting for Allah help.

Until today~ none

Maybe its not the time yet.

My question: then when???

Wheres the miracle?

As far as now i am dealing with tears,stressed and dillema- like dumb

Not many days to go 6th Sept
I want this story end.

If HE want to back to this family, please do so.
Fuck all the shit scandalisme with anyone. Back to us

If u goes 50/50, oh my dear... Please separated with us :(

If he decide nothing change, then SAYONARA to us

Custody of our kids,with me.

Dun bring the risk n harmful this family- wishing~

Dear Mr.Y please decide.

Amin

Lima.ogos.2015

I am not trying to run

But how to hide from something "haunted"?

When i am trying to reach him, then i failed as my mind haunted by something that couldnt be erased?

I talked with someone, asking bout to cure / mend the broken hearted

Answers: still same. Only me,myself could change it

I asked second men, answer, only u the one who can change the story

There only ways i figure it out:

-drugs / medication

- new hobby

-new type of friend

-count on theraphy

- create 2nd me (dillusional)

But, i will make a choice (the above) once i give up "one day"

Now, with my rationale,i keep n giving my soul to dear mighty Allah swt

Dear Ian & Nia, u are my strenght

Bless us. Show us the right way

Ya Allah~

Deceiving

In relationship

Better if,

We both are friend.... Lively & lovely

But

In us,we dont have it

Its ok. I'll better walk-away 

#day29nia

Who need space?

Everyone does

...

The one u hurt

The one who's hurting

... 

For me

How?

#day28Nia 

Undecided

Ya allah

Things  still undone

And it wont be done, if i didnt do something

Y i have to face this? 

Oh holy syawal

The cherish syawal was never be the same again~

Bye bye ramadhan

#ramadhandontgo #scarestthingever #alone #loser #syawal2015

1 july 2015: miracle. Syukur

Waiting.. Waiting.. 

Now masa yg aku tunggu,tiba... 

My little princess.. Miss Nia.

Syukur padamu ya Allah.. Now keluarga yg ku bina 3+1

************************

Namun, aku masih ada SATU lagi agenda yang belum selesai  :(

This agenda was the 2nd major thinggy of my life..

I can't pray / sujood to u Ya Allah. But, i can warmth my dhua to u...

How my journey story? How u write it? 

I can forgive to someone, but my mind keep recall. Makes the anger n drama recall.

Cant forget.... 

I try try try try, even until today, the joyous day of Nia on my arm

BUT   ~

;(    Oh my 2nd chapter... 

I belief u write the best, kun fayakun 

Sigh~ 

Mungkin ini tertulis oleh Mu yg maha esa

Ini takdir..

Ini yg tertulis

Sudah 37minggu.. Aku cuba kuat

Banyak cabaran...

Sungguh diduga..

Mungkin bukan diriku yg dia cintai

Aku redha

........

Jika jalan perpisahan, telah ditulis...aku terima

Jika hanya dugaan sementara, Allah juga aturkan penyatuan

.....

Tapi yg pasti, diriku amat HINA disisinya~  ya allah 

Kuatkanlah aku,demi anak anakku  :(